Monster

Me- "What do monsters have around their lair?"
JZ- "Oh you know, a flock of maidens, dead children, bones, bags of money..."

thus, Joseph's monster patch. Not the "egg stealing fox" he asked for.

My favorite Texts

Here's a list of my favorite texts from the past 2 years:

-It was 2 degrees this morning
-It was -20 degrees this morning
-Tom Cruise is creeping me out
-OMG I am eating an extreme soy cheese pizza
-cops suck each other off
-oh Pam, that's European dating
-OMG someone is blasting crash test dummies in class
-yell freebird!
-the trees that smell like jizz are out
-just got home. barely any traffic. boy did i have to poo.
-there's a show about nerds on mtv and one of them looks exactly like Ben
-E-A-G-L-E-S
-Hemp me
-can you buy me some socks?
-omg Edith poked her head into the toilet and I peed on her head a little bit
-we are starting a band called manfucker
-im changing my name to Levon
-I showed my mom icanhascheeseburger and she threw up a little in her mouth
-jews do not have sex through a sheet. its a total myth
-well i look like peter frampton
-do you want to quit our jobs?-BFSP (best friend suicide pact)
-How'd yr date go? Still a virgin?
-people who ride scooters to school are gay.
-im living in a living nightmare
-someone on the trolley just said "hair is dumb" what does that mean?
-patrick killingsworth, remember that.